Letting go could be frightening, yet, strengthening !! It takes a lot of courage to let go, whatever it is. People hold on to different things at different times, could be belief, ideas, memories, what have you and find it hard to let go of such things.
For parents with children with disabilities, we often hold onto the children or is it hold on to the disabilities so much that we do not allow the children room to grow, and ourselves room to do other things but the children. I hereby confess that I have been guilty of this offense and I have decided to make and already making conscious effort to purge myself of this offense.
For the past three years or there about, there is hardly anywhere and anytime Ziim is not “latched” unto me. Must say that not actually out of choice, but I have not really seriously tried to leave her with some other persons apart from of course in the CpCenter. Some people had offered to watch her for me while I take a breather, particularly her God mother, but I usually found excuse not to. Truth is that I am scared of what might happen, what if she goes into seizure, will they know what to do, will they be able to feed her if she is hungry, what if the children hurt her? All these and many more of such thoughts go through my mind each time someone offered to watch her for me. But I have decided to let go of that fear if you call it that. I have decided that we both must begin to “be” with other people independent of each other albeit for a short while. It is healthy for her to begin to find company in other children/people apart from the children/people in the Cpcenter.
When I made this decision about two weeks ago, I was thinking that it is something we shall start in the coming year. On the 24th of December, the opportunity to act out the decision presented itself, I almost postponed it till next year, but courageously I let her be. And since then, daily, she has or is it that I have taken some time off her, leaving her to have fun with some new found friends in this Island of Tarkwa bay.
I shall post more on our stay here and probably more on letting go and its power, may be when we get to town as there is no electricity here, and the internet is so so slow.
Meanwhile, think of all the things or some of the things you should let go with this year as it births a new one. Would not mind your sharing.