Today I could not help but to look at my life and observe some notable changes that adorn it since Ziim. I know the changes are there, most of them are obvious, some subtle, others so minute that I alone are aware of them or so I think. Why am I talking about change now? Could it be because our government is at this time imploring us her citizens to accept some changes today probably for assure of a better tomorrow? Or could it be a tone of “accusation of change” I sensed in my friend’s voice when she called me yesterday?
Aunty T is my good friend, more like a relation, I like to say that she is one of my friends whose friendship has transcended the boundaries of friendship. I had not visited her since the beginning of the year, actually, I did not visit her long before Christmas and I did not call either. She called yesterday and said that I am hardly seen these days, she did not say so but I “heard” from the tone of her voice that I have changed especially as she went on talking about how she did not have a pleasant Christmas celebration because of certain misfortune and I have not called. I used to visit her often; hardly any week went by without my stopping by her place, at least once. But gradually, in two weeks I would not have stopped by, then a month. On Christmas day, another friend, aunty V had called, after wishing me a merry Christmas told me that she had moved houses and added with that tone of accusation of change that she just wants to inform me because I do no longer visit her. That is true; I have not visited her in a while, she lives in the island while I live in the mainland. Anyway, before aunty T got off the phone yesterday, I told her I would see her later in the day. I had been holed in the house with Ziim so it would be nice to drive out. We visited her, but before then we stopped at the market to buy ewe moi moi (leaves for wrapping steamed beans pudding). I love moi moi and for me it has to be in that traditional method wrapped in local leaves. I did not think anymore about the visit or rather her call and aunty V’s with regard to “change” until this morning as I was preparing the moi moi.
Moi moi is often regarded as a delicacy; it is made out of beans. A lot of people do not like beans but they like moi moi. For instance, a friend visits and you say; I just made food can I bring some for you? S/he would go, what did you cook? Beans. Hm, no thank you, I don’t like beans. But if you say moi moi, and if you added that you used the local leaves to wrap it, she’ll go, ha please can I have some. Depending on the level of your friendship h/she will most likely ask for a takeaway. Remember, moi moi is beans, the difference is that you have made it into pudding, did I add laboriously? You know, washing the beans, taking it to the neighborhood “grinder”, (you do not want to spoil your blender, besides it does not just do it right), of course you must not forget to add the necessary ingredients. When you get back, wash the ewe aka the leaves, mix the pudding, taking care that the taste is just right, watch for salt, wrap it then cook (actually steam) for at least one hour! Voila, the beans changes to moi moi, a delicacy!!
Change! Sure I have changed. My life BZ (Before Ziim) and my life AZ (After Ziim) are different; there is a change in not just how I do things but in what I get to do. Should I bore you with how I have changed? Sure you wouldn’t want that because you expect that I should have changed and will still change especially as Ziim gets bigger and heavier, did I add more beautiful. It was Viktor Frankl the legendary psychiatrist and holocaust survivor who said that “when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”. I may not be able to change the fact that Ziim has cerebral palsy, but I have to change to be able to cope with that situation.
I hope that my change is like that of from beans to moi moi, the same thing still, but deliciously different. How has life been changing for you? Do share.