How do you know that God asked you to what you are doing?
I never told you that He asked me to.
Then what did you tell me?
I said that I am convinced that His hands are on what I am doing.
Ehn… what is the difference?
To me lots of difference; if I said He asked me to do what I am doing, it means that I heard Him calling me, Nonye, Nonye, Nonye, and I answered, here I am Lord. Then He gave me instructions or he told me what to do. Or it could be that He sent an angel to me, you know, like the angel appearing to me in a dream, asking me not to be afraid that what I am doing is from the Lord or some sort of “heavenly” experience. I am too sinful for that, sebi you know now. No, what I tell you is that I am convinced that what I am doing is the right thing, and difficult or hard as it seems I believe that God is in the know and He approves of it.
Ha, How can God approve such a task for His children? God forbid, this cannot be His making, tufiakwa, it is not our potion!! I reject it!! We cannot be suffering like this.
And who are we? (now I am smiling)
Ha, we, the children of God, the children of Israel, we the descendants of Abraham.
Really? We? The Israelites? I don’t know about you but the last time I checked, my passport and that of Ziim were still green in colour with “the federal republic of Nigeria” boldly written on them, so who here is the Israelite?
Oh, Nonye, must you make a joke of everything? This is a heavy task you are involved in and our God is not a wicked God. He came to set us free, He suffered that we may not suffer.
Pastoress Gina!!! Please when you establish that your church, do let me be in charge of the tithe and offering boxes. But before then, let me quickly remind you that I am trying to do exactly what I think the Lord would have done- “setting the captives free”. My daughter here and other children in the CpCenter are held captive by this thief called Cerebral Palsy, and I am making an effort to try and set them free from the monster. If you call what I am doing “suffering”, does it not follow that I should suffer so that Ziim should not suffer? Abeg, G, do you want that plantain I offered you so I can go fry it for you, it will soon be time for Ziim to take her evening medications and then dinner.
You see, I have to get out of that line of conversation. Gina is my good friend. Today she came to spend time with us more like the whole day, so it was a day with Ziim and mum. We have not seen her for over a year. She was one of the people that could not and from the above conversation that ensued between us; she still cannot understand why I have to keep Ziim after she was diagnosed of Cp. Today she watched how we live sort of and to her, what I do is suffering. I caught her a few times casting me some “anya ebele ebele” (pitiful glances) when she thought I was not looking. What I do is what every mother does for her child, okay a bit differently, well, let’s just say differently. It is work but I do not see it as suffering and I take exceptions to anyone
thinking (you can think) saying to me that it is suffering. I say actually that it is unfair. She started the conversation when I put Ziim on the potty the second time to see if she’d make bowel movement and she actually did and I was full of praises for her.
I fried the plantain, scrambled an egg and gave her. She finished her meal of plantain which had changed to dodo and was about to leave, it’s about 5p.m she should be going home; she’s been out all day. As she picked her bag and made to go, I asked; why do you call God a liar? Ha, me? How ? When? Okay, which bible do you read? Haba Nonye, why are you asking? I want to know. Okay, since you are not telling me, I’ll tell you the one I read, I read the King James Version and let me quickly read a verse therein. You know say me, I no be pastor/ess, but I sometimes peep into that book. In Isaiah 43:2, it says“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee” Please tell thou me, could God be talking about us Nigerians the descendants of Abraham going through some sort of sufferings? Let’s just for a while assume that I am suffering, is it not approved by God and is He not there with me as He said He would? You saying that we shall not suffer, are you not calling Him a Liar? Anyway, I thanked her for her visit, it was a good distraction actually, and I bade her good bye and decided that, like the kids would say, I shall tell my readers for her (I shall tell my mummy for you)
So seriously, which bible do you read…………assuming that you read one lol.