Wearing Different Caps

Sometimes I wish I were a little girl once again. You know that age when you have to be told what to do. When all you need do is to ask. Like you ask your mother for money to buy something and she says she does not have money. You go, mummy go to the bank now. The innocence, the carefree, no responsilility, you hardly need to make decisions, the buck stops on mummy’s desk. 

But that is just a wish. I am mummy, not just mummy, I combine that job with other jobs, especially as she whose mummy I am come specially packaged. I am her therapist(s) note that there is an s at the end,I   play nurse sometimes, advocate other times  and even doctor once in a while.! I interchange the caps so frequently that often times I need to stop and ask myself who exactly am I.  Life as a mother of a child like Ziim, adorned with CP is filled with decision making, ask me who’s life is not.

Over the weekend I was worried about her head control or rather lack of it.Yesterday, I spoke with a physiotherapist; should we use neck collar? Opinions are divided on the use of collar she told me,   as if I did not know, so it depends on whose side you want to lean to. Did she tell me anything? she definitely did not, she left the decision to me!! I wanted her to say; Nonye use the collar or do not use the collar. I wanted not to be the decision maker.Hm.. what to do, I sent a mail to  the director of Advance, promptly she replied;  Chizzi’s head control still depends on her lung capacity. She did not quite tell me what to do, so I pick up my school book (google), went to the topic “lung capacity and head control“. I made the decision, I have to increase her lung capacity, meaning  get her to move her limbs often instead of lying flat on her back or sitting.

That means I have to wear the cap of the therapist once more. So this morning, as we get to the center, I have to get her to be more on the frame. Hm.. Where are those elastic bands? But first, I need to take care of non-Center issue, which cap is that?  I just wear it.