It is 3a.m I am up, have been since like 45mins now! Yes, I cannot sleep. Ok I have been worrying which really I should not be. But I am and I know I should not be for “God is in control”…We are told that every Sunday. The lector always ends the “message from the pastor” with the phrase “God is in control”. I hear some people call him “Rev. Fr. God is in control” But this worry feeling would not go.
It crept in on me since the 1st of July. Hm.. Nonye, the first half of the year is gone oh, how far! See Ziim! She does not seem to have progressed, more like she is not walking and running down the steps! Na wa oh!! What if she never gets to move by herself, so you have to keep carrying her, lifting her even for the tiniest of things!!! This worry!! It just creeps in on one.
I have been lying there on the bed and this worry has been eating me up. I kept staring at Ziim, all I coud see is beauty personified, no kidding, she just is beautiful and sleep does not rob her of that. Then this saying by Dale Carnegie came to my mind “if you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying, it is the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep” I obeyed. I picked my notebook wherein live my friends, some of them that is, and thought I should share this with them. Took my camera and recorded this sleeping beauty. I told you she is beauty itself, even if it I, Nonye, her mother saying it, do excuse my immodesty. See for yourself.
As I put the camera on review to see the picture, I saw the pictures of herI took yesterday morning before aunty Ify made her hair and I asked myself; why worry? Pick your bible, what does Matthew 10:30 say. Hm…. I looked…”as for you, even the hairs of your head have been counted. 33: So do not be afraid; you are worth more than the sparrows” Now see Ziim’s head of hair yesterday (by the way, we cut off some two weeks ago and I am sure He knows how many that went) so if each of these hairs is known by He who is Almighty, why do I worry, He holds the future does He not.
Next I read psalm 46 with which we sailed into this year. He lives, so let the tomorrow come. But for now, I have to enjoy my today, I will not allow its joy to be sapped by worry. I go to start my day having the words of Mahatma Gandhi in mind, that “There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever”. I have faith in God! I refuse to be put down by what Ziim is yet to do for my journey with her is a marathon not a sprint dash. Yes, I need to remind myself of that. And you know Nonye that when you run the marthon like Haile Gebrselassie says; “you run against distance, not against other runners and not against time”, do remember that also!