Under whose knife??

I knew what the result was to be before I went for the test. I did not need to do that X ray. I knew what it will say. All the signs or is it symptoms were there!! But I took Ziim to do the X ray, even though I was sure what the result will say.

In December, I had invited Dr. Ey to the Center. Dr Ey is an orthopedic surgeon. I wanted him to look at the children for me. If you like assess them orthopedically (if there is anything like that). My greatest worry was (is) Ziim.  Ziim is six, non-ambulatory, spastic quadriplegic, I often describe her as highly spastic (sorry sometimes I manufacture my  own terms) sigh, sigh, sigh, hiiiiss. On the the GMFCS, she falls on level 5. Did you just  sigh?  I told you that her type of CP is that which has  all the trimmings. With all that at the back of my mind, I knew some of the things I should expect, though I hoped and still hope that some cups will pass us by. Dr Ey came, looked    Ziim over and told me that from his clinical observation that she was okay, I was not happy . My own clinical observations were contrary to his. I did not tell him so. He suggested that I could get an X ray done, there is a diagnostic center near us. It was December, we went for holiday. But every single day, I thought of it and what it entails, why won’t I when I see it korokoro like we say.

Since we came back, I have watched it get worse, I have watched the pain get worse for Ziim. Lifting her, she cringes in pain. It is becoming difficult to change her diaper without her “complaining” of pain. Sometimes I give pain killer, but I know that is a temporary measure.

Saturday morning, we walked into the diagnostic center across the road from  us. Monday evening we got the result. Not that it was any different from what I already knew, yet my spirit dropped! The medical director of the center wanted to talk to me. That talk was therapeutic for me, at least temporarily.  I actually did much of the talking. He listened while I talked about my fears, not just for Ziim, but for other children with CP. I talked of  what I am doing with Ziim and children with CP. He appeared impressed and offered CpCenter free diagnostic procedures. He’ll stop by and see what we are doing.

Now what to do with Ziim??? Big question. Even the doctor could not offer suggestion. Should we put her under the knife considering her age? I informed him that she does have seizures. He shock  his head. Hm… that is something.  And even if we decide to, under whose knife shall she go????

I don not even want to think of that. Liar!!! I think of it every waking minute and all I can do is to pray and believe God for wisdom and direction.

Hip displacement is a big issue, but I know that God is bigger.  Did He not say this?

“For I WILL restore health to you and heal you of your wounds” Said the Lord.  Jeremiah 30:17


3 thoughts on “Under whose knife??

  1. What can I say de mamma other than to pray and hope for a miracle? Courage de mamma God is in control.


  2. […] not being so sure I wanted the surgery. Surprised??? Yes. You will recall that after I sought for who’s knife  Ziim would go under, and practically gave up my independence which no one agreed to take up, we […]


  3. […] with the severity of Ziim’s CP. Not only is she grossly involved, she has seizures. Under whose knife was she to go, and what of post surgery rehabilitation? I weighed the gains expected against […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s