Its Whats On The Inside That Counts

It’s not often that I feel so fulfilled at the end of a week. I had so much I needed to do. I wanted to look back  at the   week and be sure that I did all I wanted to do.

It is Saturday, I look through my list and  I did everything on that list!  As I write this, I still cannot believe I  did all and even a few that I did not put down.

Everyday, I would put down all I needed to do the next day, and then, like my sister A.A. would advice, plan the how to get them done in my head. She visited me recently and was pleased to  hear that I apply that her principle. I know you are wondering what the big deal is in doing all one plans to do.  No big  deal actually, but doing all that, working in the Center and taking care of Ziim and “her sister” both of who need all ADL done for them, both with disabilities, did I add severe, I feel so happy and grateful to God  that I want to note and share the joy.

Thursday was to be the most challenging. That was the day I learnt a lot or rather I saw true love. I had since promised a family a visit.  No, put in the proper perspective, I have since promised myself to visit a family somewhere in Ikeja. Each time I wanted to go, mostly weekends, it was not convinient for them. The madam of the house prefared weekdays, I wanted weekends. I needed to make that visit before Monday next week.

A few weeks ago, I had lamented to a friend that when I close my eyes sometimes, the image of Ziim I see as an adult does not look beautiful considering the severity of her CP. So when a lady called me a couple of weeks ago wanting to know if CpCenter runs a live in facility for adult persons with CP,  who is totally dependent for all ADL, I wanted to see her to have an idea of what Ziim may look like at that age. Yes, I could be that……..whatever.

No we do not run  a live in, we are still at the early intervention bus stop, but I would look around and get back to her. I did look around, what I saw or is it lack of what I saw made me for one crazy moment think of attenuation, not just for Ziim, but for her mum. ( no, you did not read that) but seriously, nothing does exist for parents who either for reason of old age or ill health may no longer be able to care for their children with severe disabilities. No sheltered home. What I saw, I will not put my dog in there. I called and told her my findings. But can I visit? I asked. The lady in question is in her twenties, so I felt Icould learn a few tips from the parents, being that they are way ahead of us.

The only day I could put in the visit was Thursday and it had to be in the morning hours {that’s when the mother wanted it to be} That meant we had to go to be back before lunch and for me to go to the airport and receive a friend coming in from US that afternoon. I was a bit apprehensive,  how will what I see affect me?  I told Ziim we were going to see a friend, she has CP just like her, but much older. We stopped on the way to buy a little something to take along.

Both parents were home. We were warmly received. I “charted” with the lady a bit. Then talked with the parents. They were not sure what resulted to their child having CP, in their time, they were for a very long time thinking that it was caused by someone, but they have since understood that it’s not. What that means is that the lady did not recieve much if any early intervention therapies. The unspoken worry is what to do with lady E when and if they are no longer able to care for her, hence they are looking for a sheltered  home. We talked about it, and decided to live in the present.

Remember I was hopimg to learn some tips. We looked at what they do with and for her. Could we do a few adjustment? Little things that could make it a little bit easier for the care giver. I did a few suggestions. I will come back with book and pictures.

We prayed. I left feeling very happy. They were happy too. The love they both have for their daughter radiates as they tell me what they do, how they do them.

Lesson learnt….love your daughter however she looks. It is what is inside that matter counts. The dad told me that they are just like any other child. And I believe him. He should know. Or what do you think.

It doesnt matter what you look like on the outside its whats on the inside that counts



One thought on “Its Whats On The Inside That Counts

  1. Good job. Good write up. I tell you, the depth and capacity of human love never cease to amaze me. Yes, if one dares to “look”, will be amazed. ❤


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