What Hiding???

Saturdays usually  are not my hair dressing salon going days. But last Saturday I went. Surprisingly I was the only customer at that time, meaning I would be done in no time. Good. I was in a hurry.

But shortly after, in came this lady who also was in a hurry, she said she needed to finish before dark as she does not drive at night. It was about 4.pm. I had observed how she “loooooked” at Zim who was on her wheelchair and was been distracted by one of the saloon assistants. She had given her one of these looks and was now making an unsuccessful attempt not to look at her. I needed to talk to her, so when she said that she does not drive at night, I jokingly said I could be her driver, that I needed extra income to take care of this my pretty young lady (gesturing to Ziim). she caught the joke and that broke the “ice”. To question; yes she is my daughter, she is eight. Wow, she is big (that’s her) She looks very well taken care. With feigned anger, me, what do you mean, don’t all mothers take care of their children? Haa madam, I know what I mean oo, many that have children like this don’t, in fact, the children often look unkempt and malnourished, that’s when you see them at all, They hide the children, you are trying by bring out your own….. bla bla bla…. I let her run her mouth. When she stooped, we talked. At the end we became friends.

Oftentimes I have heard people at different occasions, with their noses turned up, talk about how parents of children with disabilities hide their children from  the public, how they lock them up or abandon them in institutions.

And I ask; who is hiding from who???

Most parents do not consciously hide their children from the public,  not with the amount of knowledge and information we have these days.  It is our society who is is keeping them out!!!!  Did you ask why???

Try taking the BRT bus or any commercial bus with your child on a wheelchair. How would you even get to the bus stop with the child? Now who is it that does not want the child on the streets? The parents or those who construct the roads to keep them away or the transport authourity who does not take into consideration the existence of people who have one disability or the other.

I say it again, the society locks us out!!! The society it is who is hiding!!

Let’s see;

Here we are at the MM Airport, Yes there are lifts, but the lifts were out of order

Ikeja-20140806-01603

 

Ziim waiting, while mummy went to find "help" to carry her to the 2nd floor.. This was in LUTH

Ziim waiting, while mummy went to find “help” to carry her to the 2nd floor.. This was in LUTH

At the Catholic Church of Ascension lagos

At the Catholic Church of Ascension lagos

So now, who is hiding?? And what hiding????

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3 thoughts on “What Hiding???

  1. It really is sad.. When we live in a community that makes no provision for ambulation via the wheel chair. Who really is hiding? Who?

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  2. There are two sides to the story. The country has no provision for people living with disabilities. We don’t even have provisions for people without. It’s in recent times I have noticed some banks and lagos state offices having ramps. But once inside the elevators are not working.
    As a doctor working with children with special needs. We have loads of parents who hide them. We hear of cases were some and killed. Feed the child with pap and lie him down. He will aspire and die. I have family friends who had special need kids whole growing up, the kids were always locked up. To prevent shame, stigma ( people accusing the parents of using them for money rituals), for lack of knowing better. Most of the kids are locked up. Very few parents allow their kids to let a normal life. I give you kudos for being one of them!
    God’s speed. Kisses to Zim

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    • Hello Fikayo, thank you very for stopping by, and more thanks for your comment.

      Let’s just agree that some parents consciously “hide their children”, but the question we do not seem to be asking is why those parents would want to do that or better, what should we do to help parents not to hide their children?

      For instance I could ask; as a doctor that works with children with special needs, who “hear of cases where some are killed. Feed the child with pap and lie him down. He will aspire(aspirates) and die” what does the doctor do or make his hospital do to ensure that other mothers do not do that. Do they TRY to find out why a mother will consciously kill her child. Are they really sure that the action was deliberate considering that most (if not all) babies with say CP are prone to aspiration due to swallowing difficulties as a result of their weak muscles?

      Fikayo, this issue does not have two sides, it’s too complex to have just that, it is multifaceted and a good number of people share the blame should I put it that way.
      The parent who knows and understands well enough not to hide or kill her own child, what is she doing to ensure that her “sister” who has less knowledge is liberated. The church, the so called social worker, I could go on and on but I believe you understand what I mean. Simply, what am I in my little way doing to help, to ensure that the children who God in His wisdom allows to be the way the are are helped and the families to?
      And I reiterate, if things are right, no one with a child with any form of disability will hide that child.
      Once more, thank you for stopping by.

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